I *swear* I was trying to review math books, and this came out. I don't even know if it's funny. Thanks to my husband and to Wildcat for a couple of vocabulary suggestions.
I think Viacom should share their toys. I have to share toys
even when I don't want to. Sides I promise I won't break
anything and I'll put Pock back when I'm done. Captain Kirk
can sleep in my room in the crib from when I was just a baby.
Captain Kirk's airplane broke so they had to run away. It
was raining and thundering, too, so they wanted to hide.
Captain Kirk isn't scared of thunder like I am. Maybe it was
Pock who was scared. He doesn't smile much so I like Captain
Kirk better. I like him in the green shirt the most. I
think Captain Kirk was wearing his green shirt this time.
Captain Kirk found a cave they could hide in, like when my
big sister and I hide under the blankets. Pock wasn't scared
of the thunder when he was in the cave with Captain Kirk and
his flashlight.
Pock got sick. He had a tummyache and a headache and
everything. The doctor wasn't there to make him better, and
the nurse wasn't there either. The nurse likes Pock a lot
but she's kind of silly and she doesn't wear any pants.
Barbie wasn't there either but she really likes the Captain
better. I like her hair but Mommy can't fix my Barbie's hair
that way, it's too tricky.
So Pock asked the Captain to take care of him cause he's
sick. He calls the Captain "Jim" cause they're friends. And
he wanted the Captain to smooch him, and a bunch of grownup
stuff. When I'm sick I get a nest on the sofa and I watch
movies and Mommy reads to me all day. The Captain had to
think about it and walk around and wave his arms and talk
loud. Use-ally the Captain smooches women so he didn't want
to smooch Pock. Hugging is OK.
Then Captain Kirk smiled at me! I like it best when he
smiles. So Pock smiled a teeny bit too and they smooched.
Smooching is grownup kissing and it looks funny. I laughed.
Then they hugged and stuff and then they wanted to run
around naked. Since they're grownups they never have to wear
dipes even at night. Captain Kirk doesn't wear unders in the
daytime, just his black pants. They're both men so they have
a wiener. Daddy has one too. All men and boys have wieners
for their privates and so they can stand up to go potty. I
think they're funny-looking and they wiggle.
So then Pock felt all better. Captain Kirk and Mister Pock
were happy and they put their pants back on. Then the
Starship Enterprise came back with the Doctor and Sulu and
Hurra. The Doctor is cranky a lot and likes to drink grownup
drinks which I think are yucky. He found Captain Kirk and
Pock being happy and he got *really* cranky at Pock. I think
Captain Kirk will give him time out.
That's the end.
Rude Preschool Person
by Mary Ellen Curtin
Captain Kirk and Mister Pock were in a kind of airplane and
they went to a planet. Earth is a planet but we can't see
the whole thing. Mommy shows me the planet Venus and the
planet Jupiter sometimes at night, but I don't like the dark
cause there's owls.