< I could ... but no, it would be wrong, a violation of his privacy... > Spock thought.
McCoy's words rang through his mind "If only he could forget" Kirk's own words rang through his mind "If only I could forget..."
Spock stood there, hesitating for another moment. Then he moved closer, determinedly. Carefully and a little guiltily, Spock lifted his hand and stopped for just a short moment.
The answer came to him then. Clear and unashamed.
Spock put his hand on the captain's sleeping face, and closed his
eyes. Then he searched for every trace of the memory of Rayna that he
could find. Kirk's mind was filled with an overwhelming pain at the
loss of her. Spock closed his eyes and silently wished those feelings
could have been directed elsewhere...
Jealousy, an undignified and unworthy emotion, had tormented him down
there on the planet. Alas, he had been through it before, many times.
But now, as he probed the mind of his captain, his friend and the man
he loved, all Spock could feel was compassion. Kirk had loved Rayna.
Now that she was gone, he wanted to forget, and the only one who could
help was he--Spock.
Jim's warm skin felt soft and so tempting underneath his fingertips.
Spock wished he could go on touching the sleeping man, he wished he
could go deeper inside that human disorderly mind, just to find out if
there was any hope that ...
Spock clenched his teeth.
"Forget," he whispered and by sheer force of will, he tore his hand
away from Kirk's temple. Then he swallowed, straightened and watched
Jim sleep for another heartbeat. Then he turned and left.
He had done what he could now.
For both of them.
Perhaps, some day, his time would come, but that time was not now.
~>¤}END{¤<~