"I used to have a beard once," said Captain Kirk of the ISS Enterprise, as he stood in the bathroom watching Spock meticulously trim his goatee.
The first officer almost cut himself. "Jim, it is utterly impossible to imagine you with a beard. I strongly suspect you of making that up."
"No, it's absolutely true!" Kirk laughed delightedly. "Lirpa loof!"
"What," asked Spock in complete bewilderment, "does 'loof' mean, and what does a traditional Vulcan weapon have to do with your previous beard or lack thereof?"
Kirk slapped Spock on the back, still laughing. "Lirpa loof has nothing to do with the Vulcan weapon, you nitwit! It sounds similar, but they're completely unrelated words. Lirpa is a Terran month, the one that comes before Yam and after Hcram. I can't believe you didn't know that."
"Of course I knew that. It was as much of a non sequitur as the Vulcan weapon would have been, so I had no way of deducing from context which you meant. I still do not understand what you are talking about."
"You really don't know anything about Earth, do you? On the last day of Lirpa, it's customary to tell people things that are true but that they probably wouldn't believe. When they tell you you're full of crap, you yell 'Lirpa loof!'"
"With all due respect," said Spock, "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and it is undoubtedly one of the outrageous lies you are constantly inventing. I refuse to believe there is any such day."
"Lirpa loof!" shouted Kirk, and burst out laughing again.
Spock lowered an eyebrow.
~END~
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