High Hopes

A K/S first kiss fic by Korey
Feedback to: bluecrabnebula (at) yahoo.com
Beta-read by Farfalla and Hypatia

Spock looked up, meeting Jim's eyes squarely, not at all startled. He was never startled, but somehow the connection when he met his captain's gaze startled Jim. "Yes, Captain?"

Jim brushed aside the idea that he liked that jump in his stomach. After all, he wasn't some green cadet at the Academy any more. He leaned back against the table, purposefully relaxing. "It's getting late, Spock," he said easily. "I didn't see you at dinner. I was wondering where you were."

Spock stepped back from the instrument, giving Jim his full attention. "We were not scheduled to meet, or I was not so informed."

"No, no." Jim shrugged, crossed his arms. "I was just... off shift, looking for someone to talk to, I suppose." He nodded at the microscope. "What's so important that you're here off-duty?"

"I was furthering the tests on the bryophyte acquired on Persephone. It shows a truly impressive resistance to the radiation of-"

"Spock." Jim held up his hands. He liked the total focus Spock gave to everything he did, but certain subjects had their time and place. Besides, Jim had always been more a fan of history or literature than science. "I don't need a botany lesson."

Spock stopped, but raised an eyebrow, an almost teasing look. "You did come to the botany laboratory."

Jim smiled, wondering how people could find the Vulcan dull, or difficult to read. To Jim, Spock had as many expressions as any human, and he loved to watch them move across his face. Perhaps that was another of the things he shouldn't be thinking about.

"I did, didn't I?" he said instead. "Though I was looking for company." His smile lingered on Spock's face for a moment before he shrugged, pushing himself off the table. Best not to be too obvious, at any rate. He was having a hard enough time determining friendship with the Vulcan. Anything else... *Be patient,* he told himself. *Just let it go for now.* "I'll leave you to your work. I didn't mean to disturb you."

Spock stood for a moment, facing where Jim had been, and spoke just as his captain reached the door. "Jim."

Jim turned, trying not to think about what it did to his stomach to hear Spock take even the liberty of his given name with him. Spock approached him, and Jim tried not to entertain wild hopes. Jim tried to do a lot of things in Spock's presence, and accomplished very few of them.

"You are lonely?" Spock questioned him gently. At Jim's slow nod, Spock continued. "And on a ship of 431 individuals, you came to me?"

Jim's look was one of hurt disapproval, a decidedly non-captain like expression. "I thought we'd been through this. You're more than just my first officer, and I'd like to spend more time with you off-duty. I like to think of you as a friend, and I enjoy spending time with you, even if it's not directly productive."

Apparently he'd been right. He guessed they did need to go over the friend thing a few more times, especially before Jim even brought up the idea of something more. If Jim ever brought up the something more.

The Spock's face was honest. "I have often found humans to say something and retract it at a later time, or alter its meaning. I was merely being cautious."

"Spock..." Jim looked for the words, trying to reassure his friend, trying not to give too much away. "I enjoy your company," he said slowly, avoiding the Vulcan's eyes. Surely Spock would see everything if Jim looked at him. That, or Jim would blurt out everything. "That's not going to change."

Spock cocked his head, and if Jim had been looking, he would have seen Spock suddenly make a leap in thinking, and the sudden clarity in his face that meant he was onto something. "Captain, if I may speak candidly?"

Jim looked up for only a moment, eyes tired and suspicious. "Go ahead."

"You are an old acquaintance of Dr. McCoy and obviously a friend of Commander Scott, as well as other members of the crew, yet you prefer my company."

Jim's expression grew wary as he recognized the beginning of one of Spock's "I have a hypothesis" summary of data, and he opened his mouth, but Spock continued. "Aside from merely seeking my company, you seem to make it a point to ensure physical contact with me; you often touch my shoulder or arm, without absolute necessity. Since Vulcans are well known for preferring not to be touched, I conclude it is for some other purpose than reassurance, or in some way for my benefit."

The wary look changed to guilt, and Jim tried once more to speak, only to be cut off a second time. "I have often noticed your gaze upon me, and you hold eye contact with me far more frequently and for longer durations than is necessary or average for you or your species."

Jim was, by now, distinctly uncomfortable, but Spock continued in the same focused interest, a scientific tone. "I have judged carefully, and the data seems to fit, overwhelmingly, only one conclusion."

Jim felt by now that it would be perfectly acceptable for the deckplates to swallow him. Spock knew. "Spock," he started miserably. "I'm really sorry if Ð"

"I apologize in advance, for I have had little experience in what I believe to be the proper reciprocation in this situation."

Spock placed one hand along Jim's neck, tilted up a surprised face, and kissed him gently, a little awkwardly, and far too quickly for Jim's taste.

Jim stared at Spock when he pulled away, stunned and pleased and somewhere thinking both, *what the hell?* And, *that was unexpected.* And somewhere, a part of him he liked to think had vanished when he turned eighteen or so was simply saying, giddily, *Whee!* He met Spock's eyes at last, and Spock saw why Jim couldn't meet them before. Love shown through, shy and brilliant, unmistakable in its sureness. Jim caught Spock's hands where they were gathered around his neck, and held them. "Spock, I..."

Spock's face was as honest and open as ever. "Did I not interpret your advances correctly?"

Jim laughed a little, blushing. "You did, but this..." He forced himself to think clearly, wondering what walls they had to climb, when one was dating a Vulcan. This wasn't some girl he was picking up on shore leave. This felt terrifyingly like falling in love, and Spock suddenly seemed hopelessly naive to him. "Do you realize all that this entails?"

Spock raised an eyebrow. "As I understand it, this would seem to signal the beginning of an acknowledged period of acquainting ourselves with one other, to determine the compatibility of our two respective lives. At the same time, we would become more familiar with each other in an intellectual, spiritual, and physical sense, leading to sexual union and a pledging of lifelong care, respect, protection, and love, if it is indeed determined that our lives would be both more productive and beneficial in accompaniment with each other.

"I, for one, find you a stimulating companion, and quite a compatible partner. You are an engaging conversationalist, I enjoy time spent in your presence, you have many admirable qualities, and I find you quite attractive.

"Since you seem to have much the same opinion about me, I am highly optimistic as to our chances at success."

Jim blinked, unable to speak for a moment. "Well," he said finally. "That's certainly... all inclusive. And quite flattering." He cocked his head to the side a bit. "'Highly optimistic,' huh?"

"Indeed."

Very slowly, Jim smiled. "Indeed," he murmured, all self-conciousness gone, and pulled Spock's mouth down to his, capturing his lips gently. He moved surely, knowing this time what was intended, and Spock's mouth was warm against his. Jim breathed, wrapped his arms around Spock, and kissed him again. "I think we should start familiarizing ourselves right away."

Spock brushed his fingers at the sides of Jim's face. "I am not averse to that decision."

As Jim took Spock's hand and led him out of the botany lab and back towards his quarters, he thought that really, the sneaking through the halls and the fluttering in his chest combined, maybe this was like being back at the Academy again. He didn't think adults were supposed to feel this giddy, but he liked it, and Spock's slow smile as he pulled him into the room told him Spock liked it too.