Kirk glared at the offending viewscreen. "Dammit, Scotty, what's wrong?"
Spock glanced coolly up from the science monitor. "Sensors show six Romulan vessels approaching. They are charging disruptors."
Kirk cursed as Checkov and Sulu shouted coordinates across the bridge at each other. Sulu was working at Uhura's station, his own having shorted out at the same time as the main viewscreen. Uhura had already been taken to Sickbay. Checkov murmured in Russian as the Doctor tried to staunch the flow of blood from his leg.
Sulu randomly hit a flashing control and a static-y but booming Romulan voice filled the bridge. The main viewscreen stayed disturbingly blank. Under his breath, Kirk muttered, "I feel like a blind worm."
At his science station, Spock raised an eyebrow.
The static suddenly cleared from the transmission. Sulu glanced over at the control he had just accidentally hit with his elbow. So _that_ was how she did it.
"-Surrender immediately or be blown out of space. Kirk, you have ten seconds. Nine."
The Captain waved a disgusted hand. "Cut that off, Sulu, will you?"
"I don't know how, Captain!" He was white-lipped with effort; the Romulans were still taking potshots at them, and without shields, any one of them could turn the ship into so much debris. "Do you want me to try and figure it out?"
"Seven."
"That won't be necessary, lieutenant."
"Six."
"Do you think he's counting rather slowly?"
"Sir, I think the channel is open. He can hear you."
"Five."
"Why, I think he's stalling."
"Am not! ...Four."
Spock spoke below the volume the comn could pick up. "Captain-"
"Calm down, Spock."
"Three."
Kirk pitched his voice towards the speaker, almost jovially. "Centurion, think about this. Let us go, and the Empire could skip her next war."
The barrage of torpedoes cut off. Sulu flexed his fingers once, tensely.
"It's gone too far for that, Kirk."
"Not for us, Centurion. You can save Romulan lives."
"I will have my honor!"
Kirk rolled his eyes. The bridge crew had taken their cues from the command team and were bracing themselves against anything handy.
"Kirk, you are about to die. Do you have any last words?"
"A few." And then he nodded to Spock. Spock tossed him an apple. The bridge stared in mutual confusion. Kirk rubbed the apple on his tunic until a bit of the red came off and turned into gold. He peered at it, tracing the revealed words with his index finger.
"To the Fairest..."
And then the Romulan ship didn't blow up. It sprouted leaves, but it didn't blow up. After a moment, there was no longer a ship in front of the damaged Enterprise, but a leafy forest, seemingly uncaring that it was light-years from a planetary atmosphere.
Kirk hit the comn, not once taking his eyes off the view in front of him. "Good work, Scotty. You might want to take a look out front when you have a minute, though."
From the comn came a sense of confusion, and then a gasp. "Aye!! My poor wee bairns powered _that?_"
Kirk smiled. "Possibly not your bairns, Scotty, but something certainly did. Try for some shields next, will you? Just in case we need them. Kirk out." He turned to face his first officer. "Spock, analysis."
Spock adjusted a dial, peered into his scope, and came out with one eyebrow raised. "Captain, that is not the predicted effect of the device..."
"Well, Spock, it isn't the device. Although," and he waved at the panoramic view, "this does make me wonder what our mirror counterparts could have done to it, to make it do that."
With wide eyes, Checkov whispered, "It looks Russian."
The snake coiled in the new-growth branches hissed.
Kirk just shook his head and thanked the stars that Bones was back in Sickbay, where he no doubt was needed.
In his deep voice, Spock said, "And from thy enemies shall be thy Heaven; from thy struggle shall be thy view of it; from thy exiled cousins will unreasoning minds shatter. Surak, The Predictions."
Then all was as it had been, except the Romulan commander was on the main screen looking dazed. He threw a wavering thumbs-up through the viewscreen and strummed an invisible guitar. "Tha' wassh fuuun!..."
Kirk looked at the viewscreen and the passed-out Romulan for a moment, then at the apple still in his hand. Thus time it said, "Exiled cousins to together bring, bite the bullet." He looked at it oddly and tossed it back to the Vulcan.
Spock looked at the small object, forever displayer of universal truths in atonement for it's first use.
"Love hurts well."
"Pardon, Spock?"
He tossed it back.
Kirk read, 'He loves you.' He returned it.
'It is reciprocated.'
Both turned back to their duties.
After all, they had known that.
~finis~